My Personal Experience on Balancing Motherhood & Working FT.

August 25, 2019 1 Comment

Hey hey welcome back! In case you missed my last blog post - you can find it HERE! It was a general post with comments from Moms who gave us their tips on how they survived working and parenting and trying to find that elusive 'balance'.

I want to add something here before launching into my own personal experience.

In America a recent study showed that working Moms with 2 kids suffer 40% more stress than Moms with only one. This stress is demonstrated in the form of anxiety and depression thereby increasing the risk of suicide as well as PTSD. 

I was 27 years old when I had Emma which was an experience I will never forget (you can read about my miracle baby over HERE!). At the time I was in the process of completing my PhD and having a baby wasn't something I had planned right then and there. But G-d clearly had these plans for me and I don't argue with G-d. So there I was finishing my PhD with a newborn baby who honestly spent 70% of her time crying and I probably did the exact same thing. I remember just sitting on the couch some days in my pj's crying and at lunch time I was in the same position still crying....

It was tough! I actually don't even know how I got it all done! And as she grew older, due to our finances, I had to find a job. Luckily I did my post grad at Tygerberg Hospital but OMG the hours were so long. I always felt like I was missing out on being her Mom! I rushed out the door before she was awake and came back home when she was asleep but at the time I had no choice. I treasured the weekends when I didn't work so I could spend time with my family.

During those first years as I started my career I worked so hard! I was focused and driven on becoming an International renowned research scientist in my field (Tuberculosis). I traveled to the UK and the US quite frequently. I was presenting posters and actually even doing some public speaking - yip me!!

Luckily Emma's dad was flexible so he could look after her and for that I am grateful. Blow me down G-d had another plan for me because within 23 months to the day I had my 2nd child another girl - Tarryn Ashley. And the juggling really was insane. The sleepless nights took their toll on me, I was always exhausted and by that I mean ALWAYS! I started work at the hospital at 6.00 so I could leave by 4.00 in the afternoon but it never worked out like that. I had new responsibilities as I was given 10 honors students and I was asked to do lecturing. I loved my work.

Do you see my dilemma? My career was just starting and I felt like I was a juggler trying to keep all the balls in the air. I loved my work it was exciting and I loved my family they made me feel alive in a different way entirely. For the next 5 years I tried to find the balance but honestly I wasn't successful. My career took off I was 1st author for 9 research papers. Let me tell you it felt like blood sweat and tears every single day. 

Back to G-d and his plan for me because He then blessed me with a baby boy! And the sweetest little treasure honestly - this baby was a complete cutie. But something had to give I could no longer work 18 hour days and be a mom. So I decided to go half day and then luckily due to my husbands business I became a full time mom. 

And there I was a mom of three children ages: 7, 5 and a baby. Every one of my children were different: Em was serious and super conscientious, Tarryn was full of light and laughter and Ryan was ball mad! I did homework, watched netball matches, played at the park, cooked and cleaned. My children were my life they replaced my career. I have no regrets. 

I know I was blessed to be able to give up my job and be there for my children I honestly don't know what I would have done if I had to continue juggling everything. Even now that I am working full time again with my 3 kids (2 adults and Ryan who is 16) I still struggle to do everything! I am still learning to take time for myself to avoid burning out. Last weekend Emma cooked and did all the cleaning and Ryan made me tea and did the felt like a mini holiday.

Thanks so much for reading.

Have a lovely blessed week.


1 Response

waydee/ Pregnolato
waydee/ Pregnolato

August 26, 2019

Awesome blog🙌♥️

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